“My brother was woken to being smashed in the face with a breadboard. It was his partner. Two weeks later, the police charged him with assault. He had to go to court. She drove him. When there, she went into a separate room saying she was scared for her life. He moved out. His ex started getting increasingly nasty. His daughter, once arrived saying, “Daddy’s a ****, Daddy’s a ****” I work with vulnerable people. DV and child protection is a large part of my role. The DV protection order was 12 months. That nearly expired when she had made fresh allegations. She wanted to extend the order 2 yrs. Later, my brother had a call from child protection. His ex accused him of throwing their daughter against the wall. He broke down. It was so awful. He adores his daughter. They investigated. The case was closed. He hadn’t done anything. She sends him abusive emails. She’s trying to wind him up. She knows him emotionally. She’s trying to play the system. She knows to pretend she’s scared for her life. He tried to take his life last weekend. Her game is to wear him down. I know there are people who have experienced DV, I work with them. But not this. This is manipulating the system because she knows it’s biased. His ex has told everyone at the school that he’s an abuser. It’s about having a child for monetary gain and playing games of power and control to destroy my brother.”
Jane is a sister in her 40's from QLD. This is her story in her words. Alterations have been made solely to preserve confidentiality.
“When my brother met his ex partner, we knew she had mental health issues but didn’t know much more than that.
When they separated we found all kinds of anti depressant medication in the house.
So, they were living together and had a child together.
The hospital mismanaged the birth of their daughter. The mother ended up having to have surgery to save her life. They were going through a lawsuit.
She started going funny.
My brother was working nights. Sometimes he’d sleep on the lounge so he didn’t disturb her.
One night he got home from work, crashed on the sofa and was woken up to being smashed in the face with a breadboard.
Startled, he shoved the person away, then realised it was his partner.
Two weeks later, the police arrived at the house and charged him with assault.
He had to go to court.
She drove him to court.
When they got there she went into a separate room saying she was scared for her life.
My brother was freaking out; he didn’t know what to do and didn’t have the funds for a lawyer.
He agreed to the conditions without admission.
He moved out and had to find a room to rent.
Things were going ok, they had a parenting plan and he was taking care of his daughter when the mother worked away.
His ex started getting increasingly nasty.
We knew she was talking about my brother because his three-year-old daughter once arrived to see him saying, “Daddy’s a ****, Daddy’s a ****”
I work in health, I work with lots of vulnerable people, domestic violence and child protection is a large part of my role.
The DV protection order was for 12 months. That had nearly expired when he got another call telling him he had to go to the police station.
She had made fresh allegations of assault.
She wanted to extend the protection order for another 2 years.
That got knocked back.
Two weeks later, my brother had a call from child protection saying he needed to go in.
His ex had accused him of throwing their daughter against the wall at home during an argument.
I went with my brother.
He broke down.
He was absolutely sobbing.
It was so awful.
He adores his daughter, she’s his life.
They did an investigation; case was closed – because he hadn’t done anything.
She’s recently changed their parenting agreement.
She sends him abusive emails; I think she’s trying to wind him up. I tell him, stay calm.
She knows him emotionally.
He has to go back to court early next year.
She’s manipulating the whole situation. She wanted to move interstate with their daughter. I think she’s now trying to play the system to get what she wants. She knows the way to make that happen is to pretend she’s scared for her life.
My brother has been suicidal many times.
He tried to take his own life last weekend.
We recently lost our dad. I don’t want to lose my only brother too.
I’ve helped him financially; he’s now in so much debt from trying to fight these false allegations.
Her whole game is to wear him down.
He feels it’s not worth fighting; his own daughter is already being poisoned against him.
As a sister, it’s so hard to watch your brother go through this nightmare.
I know there are people who have genuinely experienced domestic violence, I work with them. I will fight all the way for them.
But not this.
This is manipulating the system because she knows it’s biased.
His daughter does a lot of activities. He goes without sleep so he can get there after he’s finished work. He doesn’t want to miss out on one minute he can possibly spend with her.
His ex has told everyone at the school that he’s an abuser.
My brother adores his child.
He goes without food when he doesn’t have his daughter so he can save every penny to spend when he’s with her.
This isn’t about being a good mother; it’s about having a child for monetary gain and playing games of power and control to destroy my brother.”